13 July 2009

don't get your undies in a bundle...

as I was looking for panties while shopping in marshalls yesterday
all I could think about was holly and her suggestion that maybe this blog be used for things more intimate
about my life
~~
I don't think she meant panties
"butt"
as long as we're here
~
I'm not a fancy panties person
I just buy what feels nice and fits
~
my bras never match my panties
ever
as I'm just not that kind of girl
and
rarely do I even wear a bra
since I live in the tanks from j.jill
with the built in bra for overall comfort and a layer of warmth
on this body of mine which is usually always cold
~
now let's go a little "deeper"
and
talk about thongs
which I do wear when I need them
especially when I'm all dressed up and looking
sexy
and
when panty lines would be very distracting to how great my eyeshadow looks
but
I could never wear them everyday and I rarely wear them with jeans
and
am I "picky" with my thongs
?
YES
I only wear the gilligan & omalley cotton thongs from target
{and no I'm not getting paid for this}
since they always stay right where they started
~
boy shorts don't agree with me at all as they always ride up
and
end up feeling like a bulky sweatshirt found its way to my "butt"
~
anything with ruffles stays on the rack
but
a little lace every now and then is nice
~
personally
I just like to keep my butt covered up most of the time
and
with the high cut leg opening panties you can get that in the back
and
still have a little sexiness up front
which brings me to our men who don't have to deal with any of this
since
they can strut around in their boxers looking all manly like
or
slip on a pair of briefs where their package stays all wrapped up
like a newborn baby
and
never
ever
do they
have to think about anything matching anything else or ruffles or bunching or riding up or scratchy lace or panty lines
instead
all they really have to worry about is how quickly they can take off the panties
we just spent hours shopping for
*

27 comments:

Claire said...

classic. classic. classic. i will be returning to read the comments on this post. i just love your sense of humour beth.

as for my preferences. lacy and very tiny has always kept me happy. : )

and yes i too have looked at them boys and just shaken my head.

Holly said...

Yeah, and the question is, why is there such a difference? Why?

Oh, here's the other thing...I had a thong panty once. I put it on; it got lost; I'm fairly certain it's still on me, but I'm equally certain it will never be seen again.

Thong? Are you kidding me? Thong...

Kim Mailhot said...

This was a good giggle this morning, Miss beth ! No bra ? In my dreams...I have had those dreams periodically since I started growing these "Russian wu-man strong like milking cow" boobs at age 13, which was the last time I went bra-less in public too, when the whole 7th grade boy's gym class lined up to watch me run around the track...last time I really ran, too, come to think of it ! ;)
Viva la lace and wide support straps, and big boob men like the one I married ! And don't get me started on thongs...;)
Happy Monday, you awesome writer you !

C. E. said...

Oh, I love this. In fact, I feel quite strongly for all of your poems though I haven't said it (and hello! I am a new follower).

You have marvelous talent. Did you ever think about putting a book together?

And curse the idiot who said that women have to have an obscene amount of fashion options (half of which are ill fitting or look otherwise ridiculous). I bet it was a man. Yes, it had to have been a man.

Eileen said...

I threw a party once with "thongs" as the theme. You had to come wearing one, but just how and where was up to you! Oh my, it was the most fun! The napkins at your place setting were XL white cotton thongs rolled up with a napkin ring so as not to give it away. The front door was decorated with a thong on two well placed pink balloons - can you picture it? Wish I could share all of the photos. What a hoot and a party that was as much fun to throw as to be a guest! Use your imagination - the menu selections carried the theme too!

Alicia @ boylerpf said...

This is great! I needed a good laugh this morning and your last comment about the men was priceless! I wonder how they would feel about us wearing boxers??

Char said...

:) so cute

I wearing matching only when I want to uh...."impress" someone - otherwise, I just like cotton. Bras are pretty utilitarian but I love printed panties, colors, ruffles, lace. Thongs, boy cut, bikinis...all of it. the frillier the better (at times)

georgia b. said...

you crack me up!

yes. they do have it so easy, don't they?

i'm a lot like you in all your habits and philosophies on underwear. i'm sure i would have never known that had you not written this post. :)

joyce said...

Hilarious Beth...I'll have to come back to this one! As for bras...not if I can help it...and panites....good ol fruit of the looms is all that covers my butt.

Caroline said...

Love this blog!! Is one ever enough...lol. Anyway, I am a big fan of gilligan & o'mally panties from Target! My bras and panties never match either...

Jeanie said...

Old lady undies -- jockey, high cut briefs. But I pick pretty colors!

Patti said...

I really neede a laugh today- really! And you delivered it! No matches for me either...

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!! Especially love the part about men and how the package stays nicely wrapped up!
My sides are now killing me from laughing!

Meri said...

You, Holly and Kim have me roaring with laughter. Who but Beth would think of this? Holly, I'm with you on thongs and you have to have the tiniest little derriere to get away with them. Kim, you and I are obviously minimizer girls who should be able to shed 25 pounds or so with breast reduction surgery. Anyone need a breast tissue transplant? I'll donate!

apriliniowa said...

You know what, I can't stand thongs. Much to the chagrin of my husband. They are sooooo uncomfortable! I opt for nothing in situations like those and that works just as well. If not better. ;) hahaha.

dogfaeriex5 said...

try wearing mens long briefs to bed, i am in love with these otherwise give me my granny panties..high cut with a little lace....lol

Wildflower Studio (Michelle Dransart) said...

You are so funny! I love this post, and I so relate with you! Thanks for the laugh! Oh, and thanks for the beautiful card! Love it!!!!

Kamana said...

love this!
good to know someone else who doesnt wear perfectly matched undies.
but i cant wear thongs.

cinner said...

I was going to tell you a story but that Holly beat me to it. What a fun post. No thongs for me with a 50 acre arse. I can't remember where I read that,,,but it makes me laugh...so did your post. love both your blogs.

QueenBee said...

Only you could make underwear an interesting topic and with good taste! It really made my morning! I'm with Holly on the whole thong thing. My philosophy is the more I can cover up, the better I look. Since I'm out here by myself most of the time, I rarely put on a bra. When company pops in, I make a mad dash to the bedroom and put it on to make sure the "girls" are controlled. Only these days, the "girls" are more like "older southern ladies"! I also agree that men probably started the women's garment design. As for boxer shorts, they make great loungewear and pajamas for women and girls, just don't forget to sew up the front opening.

Derrick said...

O.K. Ladies, I think you've had your fun! And if you didn't keep buying these lacey, frilly, ruffley, thongy things, then nobody would make 'em!

And why not leave boxers and briefs to us men? If you were made to wear them, you'd want lacey, frilly, ruffley, thongy things instead!!

The hot flush has passed now, Beth. I'm fine, thanks!

margie said...

this was the best post!!!

Mark said...

This is like the Discovery Channel and Comedy Central all in one blog.

I've learned more about panties and people in the last 2 minutes....

Very funny!

Cam said...

Okay, you and Holly and QueenBee had me rolling! Although, thinking of my mom's breasts as 'Southern Ladies' does scramble my brain a little.

I dedicate the Thong Song to you today, friend!

PS- the boyshorts piece is what did me in! They do the same to me!

The Bodhi Chicklet said...

Ooo, now we know so much more about you missie! Not to worry about that scar either, I think it takes a full year. I had surgery on my face last July and for over a month it looked like I had walked into a door. I had a job interview during that time (I got the job, believe it or not), my boyfriend called me Frankie for a while. But it's the end results and the facts that count. Love your photos, by the way.

caren said...

I'm a total thong girl! Hanky Pankys - have you ever tried them?

Relyn said...

You. are. making me choke on laughter. Choke, I tell you!